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cycle 1 day 4

Cycle 1 Day 4. 

I am facing a lot of mental challenges this week. Bare with me as I pour out all my thoughts in no order whatsoever. One thing I do want to address is everyone else's feelings. Some have taken it personal with my short responses or my lack of response altogether. PLEASE do not take it personal. I simply am trying to keep my head above water here. I love each and every one of you and I cherish all of your support more than I will ever be able to express. Sometimes I am able to read the messages and then I forget to respond. Sometimes all I have in me is to give a heart emoji back or simply type on here and not respond individually. It doesn't mean I don't care. 

On top of making sure I am taking care of myself mentally and physically through my first round, I was rear-ended a few days ago and I have to deal with phone calls with car insurance and getting my car in the shop and getting a rental. I don't say that for anyone to pity me but maybe give you a glimpse into my lack of communication with you directly. 

I cannot express my gratitude for the amount of support and help I have. I am extremely blessed for this and I recognize that. I may not be answering phone calls that don't come from lawyers, insurance agents, or doctors. Bleh. None of those calls are fun. But I do appreciate them all! Promise. <3

On a much happier note, I haven't taken nausea medicine in two days! I was fully expecting to be puking my brains out and that hasn't happened. So I am thankful for that. They did say my hair could fall out after round 1 as well but that has yet to be effected either. Win win! I am dealing with shakiness and feeling completely out of it. Dry mouth. I feel like a zombie on this other medication. I am looking forward to a few days of being off the medicine before Cycle 2. *insert dance emoji here*

My oldest turns 9. Her birthday is coming up and I knew things were about to get real around here with germs so I went ahead and threw a very last minute party for her before Chemo day 1. It was a great success. I am happy we got that out of the way and we were able to celebrate her before things got too real. *Prayer request for Braylee. She has had the most changes this year and needs all the love! So over the moon thankful for her support system as well. Aside from my own, her friends'moms have completely stepped up offering fun sleepovers and showering her with gifts at her party or fun days out to keep her feeling special and her mind occupied. 

Anyway, the mental load is heavy this week but the friends who have dropped off healthy dinners, treats for my kids, sent over holistic teas and remedies, the laundry fairy, those who have let me sleep while you clean my kitchen, I have angels all around me and I pray you are all blessed in return tenfold one hundred fold!

Check your ta-ta's!
Love, Marissa. 

*I'm gonna see a victory! For the Lord God is my strength!* 











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