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What a year.

I have tried to blog so many times and haven't quite been able to find the words. I didn't write this but I heard it on a video today and it has stuck with me so I thought I'd share:

"What a weird year. I have somehow been the happiest and the saddest that I've ever been. I have learned how to let go and how to hold on at the same time. I've lost versions of myself I thought I'd be forever and met new ones I never expected. There were days that broke me and days that stitched me back together in quiet ways. I loved. I healed. I tried again. And somehow even after everything my heart still believes in beautiful endings." 

The new year is approaching and I know 2026 is going to be filled with at least 3 months of weekly chemo, multiple surgeries lasting another 3 months or so, radiation, and physical therapy. The thing is.... for some reason when life hits me it really likes to hit hard. It is almost comical how things pile up at once. If you know you know!!!! 

The thing I keep telling myself is where I am going is nowhere compared to where I have been. In all the best ways possible. The joys that are to come will far exceed the struggles I have been in. I fully believe that there are better days on the other side of this season. It doesn't do me any good to think otherwise. So, lets believe the best is yet to come. 

By the way, my next chemo has been changed to January 2. Let's pray for a great response to this taxol and also pray I find the best surgeons for me when the time comes. The days are long but I know it will be here before we know it and I want to be ready! 

I remain thankful for my support system. I swear it is growing by the day and I don't think I could get through this without you all sharing in this trial with me. 

Merry Christmas!

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