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decisions. decisions. decisions.

 Hi all. 

This week has been heavy because things are getting down to the wire and I've had to make some life changing medical decisions that no one should ever have to make. It also really sunk in how rare this breast cancer is. 1 in 8 women are diagnosed with breast cancer. 1%-5% of those women get diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. Even then it is said to be more common in Black women or those with higher body mass. I also always read that breastfeeding lowered the chances of getting breast cancer and I did that three times.. two of those times were extended breast feeding journeys.... so how did I end up with this?!?!  I guess I said all of that to say this, the treatment for cancer is not one size fits all either. And in my case, I was given some options. All of which sucked to be honest. I was choosing between options I didn't want altogether. How do you even decide? Do you want one breast or both removed? Do you want to increase your risks of complications but get a better cosmetic outcome? Do you want one boob off now and one later or both now? But doing both now could delay radiation. The short term and long term of both options are also really hard to decide between.

Not every doctor is equipped to handle this case either because some MDs go their whole career without running into this. Thankfully I have great doctors in my corner. It has come down to this..the biopsy on the right node came back NO CANCER. As of last Friday I was still planning on getting the right breast removed. However, the more I spoke to my medical team the more it weighed on us that it could lead to more complications and delay getting me to radiation. Which is a HUGE priority. They couldn't give me statistics on how much getting temporary expanders increased my risk of the cancer returning...just that it potentially could...  I decided, even 1% of that is too much of a risk for me.  SO. April 27 I will be getting a left modified radical mastectomy with delayed reconstruction. I will be fitted for a prosthetic breast to wear for the next 8-12 months. 

Its been explained to me like this. When you drop a glass vase you get big pieces and small pieces of glass. Surgery is like picking up big pieces of glass first. Radiation is like taking the vacuum out to get the small ones. The longer those small pieces are left the more the chances are of them spreading to places they don't belong. It is imperative I get to that part as soon as possible. 

*sigh* I think that's all I have for now. Take care of yourselves and check those ta-ta's!!!!

Love, Marissa.

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